I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
