Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
