Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
please come you make the beer taste better
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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