Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
