she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
