Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
