Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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