just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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