She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
