Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
