I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
