she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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