Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
