dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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