she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm always down for nudity.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
