What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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