the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
