You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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