That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
