I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
