who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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