We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
