he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
