Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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