His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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