I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
40s are totally the cure
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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