its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
