Your tits are I can't wait for
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I supernannyed him into submission
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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