cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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