Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
