Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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