We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
