O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
