im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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