What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize