You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
