They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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