There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
