I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
