I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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