i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
