I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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