I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize