I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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