He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
