BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
