Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm like, not good at living.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
