Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
