You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
