That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize