Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
