her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All the doctor said was why
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
