it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
