I think im going to throw up on grandma
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
