She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
