I'm so fucking centered right now
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
