So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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