now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
