I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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