My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
