my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize