She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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